Although Jean is gone from work, that doesn't mean we're not close anymore. She actually slept over last night after a hot date with her crush. We spent the whole night talking about boys, boys and boyfriends! She's actually a couple of years older than I am so I look at her as the older sister that I never had. I'm really happy that we spent time together in my house where we had so much freedom. She even brought her swatch of mosquito net. (She can't sleep without it!)

Jean is the beauty buff, the sexpot and the loyal friend rolled into one. She cracks jokes that is so corny it's funny. Everyone I know tells me that Jean is pretty and sexy and has everything going for her. Her little black book is filled with dates and contact numbers from boys who wants to ask her out. But she chooses only the best and follows her heart. She only goes out with a guy if she REALLY likes him. If she doesn't then sorry for him.

I also went out with Karen. It's actually a double date! Noli and Jerome went out with us. It is fun to just hang out in the videoke, play Tekken 6 and DDR in the arcade. I don't believe in arcade dates but now I'm converted! Jerome even sings! *gasps* It's amazing. I'm really happy that my shy and antisocial boyfriend is slowly coming out of his cocoon. Though his foot is hurt from a previous karate practice, he still makes an effort to see me. (A date that requires lots of walking with no whining is exceptional. Aww!) I am scheduled to meet up with them again tomorrow. It's going to be awesome. If it doesn't pan out, I can always leave with Jerome to spend QT. Ours is a long distance relationship so our time together is very precious.

I am so glad that my best friends are finding love too. It makes the world seem brighter and more hopeful. Jean has Enzo, Karen has Noli and I have Jerome. Our little group is content and happy.

I can't wait for tomorrow!

Jean's already left work.

She's not coming back anymore. It's already official that she is not an employee anymore. I'm deeply hurt that I didn't even hear the news while I'm there. (We have different rest days now.) And now my best friend at work is gone.

There goes my best partner in crime. She's the one who makes me laugh, cracks bad jokes and cheers me up when I'm sad. She's a ray of hope in a mundane work day. It's her enthusiasm and hunger for new experiences that makes her unique. She's the heart and soul of the team. There's the real truth that she's the glue that keeps us together. I'm really sad that there won't be days of talk, jokes and laughs. I'm really mourning the loss of everyday contact.

Today I am here for her. Meeting up at Rob, rounding up her best friends and writing a heartwarming letter are things that I did for her.

I love you Jean. Seriously. You're my best friend. Take care and do your best!

On a happier note, Jerome and I made salad for our weekly date after watching Windstruck. It's really cute. He kissed me thrice to get his hands on chocolate. I missed him so, so much!

We all showed off in our account. It was fun to see everyone making an effort to show teamwork and unity. Our team- Team San Antonio- was especially close so it was our time to give it our all! We performed Savior Christ the King with a few glitches here and there but we didn't mind! We got good reviews like it was full of effort (should we aim for effortless?) and it needs precision. But it's all good. I think we got second place.

Whatever, judges!

Team Hilton Head was cool too. It was very original. An interpretative dance of sorts! Gooo Jeff!

I'm just happy SAT bonded more. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity. <3

That is my motto. I'm a staunch believer that in order to get the most out of life, I must seize every moment and cherish every minute. It's a liberating mantra. Neither did I know that it is my personal magic words that will give me the keys into opening up to life. I've always relied on my motto to get me through every situation and every decision. Even when I'm suffering daily because of a recent vehicular accident, I'm smiling because I'm hanging on to the thought that I'm in this situation to grow.

When I nearly died, I realized how little I've lived. Near-death experiences do that. I'm not saying that every person should try it but it's an awesome experience that allowed me to rethink my life. It filled me with a new sense of purpose and gave me courage to take a new look at my life.

I'm not yet finished studying. My work ethics needs more tweaking. My relationships are all falling apart. There's also the little thing about controlling my shopping and the huge thing for improving my writing. My ambition to help out my countrymen is at the back of my mind; my goal to become a writer is set aside. I'm only 20 and I feel like I'm stuck.

Maybe it's a generation thing or even an age thing but I feel like a failure. Most of my peer group are either graduating or working already. I think it's because we're all raised to think that we can do anything and we can achiever whatever we set our minds into that holds me back. Failing is not bad but the feeling is. They're all on the road of success and I'm still a step behind. I'm always dreaming of attaining my personal success- defined in terms of how much I'm learning and how much I'm giving back- but I'm drifting farther and farther away from it. I wrote somewhere before that I want to be successful but the question is how?

For one thing, I'm still lacking a diploma. In this cutthroat and ruthless world of jobs, I'm severely handicapped already. I'm working in a call center now because I need it to build up a small nest egg. I'm dreaming of the day that I can quit because my savings are enough so I can pursue my studies again. Of course, my real dream is to become a writer. I can write about anything and everything but I'll need more help to expand my horizons and push my limitations. I need to learn the ins and outs of the profession before I can pursue it. A philosopher long ago suggests that we should all work to live and not live to work. I agree with him. If I'm going to write for a living, I don't mind working at all.

I mentioned earlier that my personal relationships are in jeopardy. My family bonds are steady but I think that I need more tips on how to reach out more to them. Sure we spend a lot of time together but our connection is fragile. I'm still working out some issues involving my father and I definitely need some help on that. My mother is a source of inspiration and I want to know how to show her everyday that I appreciate the mothering that she's doing for all four of us. I still have three younger siblings who barely know me; I'm still clueless on how to become a better sister for all of them. I value my family above all else and I want to show them how much I care.

Friendships are a large part of my life. I used to be a really shy and reclusive person before I started reading Cosmo. I didn't have a lot of friends. Now that I do, I need to take care of my friendships just as if they're romantic relationships. I believe that friends are really forever... I have plenty of girlfriends who've stayed with me through thick and thin. I'm really grateful for their support, their nurturing and even their nagging. But I've made so many friends, it's hard to keep track. I need to learn how to manage all of them in order to help them better. I want to know how to navigate through fights, misunderstandings and potentially embarrassing situations. I want to think of activities to strengthen our bond and to lessen the bashing to cultivate confidence. To earn good friends is to be one. I definitely need to improve that.

Since most of my friends are girls, I've earned plenty of well-meant tips on beauty, style and fitness. Some of them are ridiculous and some are surprisingly useful. I'm not the prettiest girl in the room but I can make up for it by being interesting. Most of the famous women I've read about compensated for their lack of physical perfection by having the best style in clothes and beauty to stand out. I want to learn that. I want to learn how to dress to fit my body type, use makeup to accentuate my features and to learn the best exercise to become healthy. (For the record, I don't buy that  standard that you have to be thin to be attractive. I think you have to be healthy. I'd rather eat that doughnut then dance it away than starve myself.) I know some things but they aren't enough to really bring out the best in me.

It's true that inner beauty is more desirable than outer beauty. It's something that you can shine and polish well until you grow old. But there is definitely no harm in improving your physical appearance. I've learned from before that your body is the first thing that people notices before your mind. It's much better to stay pretty and presentable to add up to the shining personality. And there's also the fact that dressing up lifts my mood and boosts my confidence. I only need to know how to polish my style to really bring it to the surface.

Aside from that, attractiveness is also one of the foremost things that guys look for in a woman. I'm in a new relationship right now and it's definitely a huge change for me. My last relationship lasted for two years before it ended... I chose to stay single to learn more about myself. Now that I've met a man who is definitely someone I want to be with, I want to take care of our relationship. I want to learn how to listen to him, to understand him and to be The One for him. I used to be a clingy and jealous girlfriend. It's an interesting experience that I don't ever want to repeat. I need to develop a confident and secure personality to stop myself. I need to show my boyfriend that I'll be his partner and equal for the, not his mother or maid.

I know that it will take a lot more courage to be true to myself and to everything I've written about. It's hard work to step out my comfort zone and to break out of my shell. I want to take risks, to relish every experience and to live without any regret. I want to become someone I can be proud of. I want to be someone who lives in every minute. I want to be someone who may not be rich but fulfilled because of service to her country, family and God.

I sincerely believe that if I had the chance to change it all I will. I will walk forward and say, "Carpe diem!".

I'd be bewildered. I don't think I'd like it if he slept with the PGMA... That would be too horrible to contemplate! ><

Found it one onemanga. I was laughing all night. The teacher, Nozomu-sensei, reminds me a bit of Watanuki. Maybe because of the black hair, glasses and hakama-and-gi get-up... O.O

... I need a more optimistic outlook, I think.

We had our first little fight. Jerome was sick and busy so he didn't have time to say "good morning" and "I'm going". I was a bit mad already by the time it was late afternoon. Of course I'm a staunch believer of honest communication. Even if you're suffering or damn busy, you'd make the time to say hi to someone you cared about. Because that's what I do and what I believed in. I called him up but didn't say anything because the reception was bad. I did text to tell him that he had to tell me what's keeping him busy at the same time warn him never to get me mad. Then he reported that his unlimited text credit had expired and he'd inform me next time. I was still a bit miffed but I let it go. He explained already. The issue was done.

Anyway, Mama took me to a CT scan to check on the status of my head. I had a nasty bump from my tricycle accident three weeks ago. They were worried that I might be hemorraging or something. After almost an hour of waiting, I was wheeled into this huge machine. I guess it was kind of cool just staying still and thinking about how humans are brains attached to bodies. Haha.

After that Jerome met up with us at Greenwich Pizza to make it up to me. Somehow he ended up having a casual date with me and my mother. He was really nice though. And my mother never minded. She wasn't tolerant with other guys but she turned a blind eye on us. Jerome tried to talk up but I guess he had not mastered the art of small talk yet. It was sweet of him though to stay with us and try to get to know my mother. I also told him I appreciated his efforts. Then he walked me and Ivy to Victory although he was feeling ill. He left after ten minutes because he caught a ride with his mother. We kissed and hugged goodbye under the starry sky.

I guess having a boyfriend was the best thing ever. We could kiss anywhere and not care.

I just came home from spending time with people who are really devoted to their faith. It was awesome attending a Victory worship. We were dancing and listening and reaching out to each other. I also made friends. Ken was really sweet to introduce me around. It wasn't my first time but it still felt like it. We talked about fathers and how they affected our lives. Afterwards we went to McDo for dinner and talked. I came home rather late but my parents didn't mind. My heart was so full.

Bring it back to me, Lord. Bring my faith back. :)