Quinnie, Joy, Zel and Gel were here. We drank our way through six San Mig Light bottles and 1 Red Horse Grande. It was a lot of fun. I missed my friends... They're the best girls ever. We caught up, talked and got tipsy together. I learned about something and it didn't sit well with me. I wonder if I could have lived better without knowing. As Quinnie suggested, "You're dumped. Get over it."

Nobody misses me. I have the weirdest compulsion to start drinking more. (Let's drown our sorrows in alcohol and see where it takes us. Maybe then I'll start to forget the taste of heartache and longing.)

OK guys, here is a quick recap of what happened! On the last day of nesting which was yesterday we got the news that we are finally certified! We are going to be agents on the floor with a shift and everything! (Yes, I know I have done it before but that does not matter at all. What matters is that it is so much fun!) I am still with Jean and the others... So we did not really separate. It *is* okay though because I love the shift! (Early morning works.)

I am worried about school though T_T What should I do?

Belated happy birthday to my darling cousin, Nina (changing it to Ajenie her new nickname), and are you happy now that you got a Toblerone as a birthday present? :D For her party, I invited Ken out of the blue so she was totally surprised! I miss my best friends too! So we drank light beer until midnight while singing on the videoke. Of course we brought Ken home when it was too late for her to walk home. It is much better to be safe, right? Anyway, I drank and felt happy and I am okay now.

Starting from now on, I will not mention him again. I got a lesson out of this. Do not expect anything. Simple but it took a long time. I am done. I do not want to feel anything anymore. I would rather be happy without him than sad because of him. Simple.


 

 

I want to hate you. Really, I do. I loathe you. I am mad and frustrated and disappointed... Why did you have to mess me up?! Why did you have to waltz in my life and throw everything I know upside down and inside out?

My life was great. Now I am not so sure anymore. You're not supposed to be there. Just when everything was all right and all planned out, you came along. (Why don't you go away? But when you do I want to run after you...) So what am I supposed to be? Who am I now? What am I to you?

Pick up the damn phone. I'm your friend, aren't I? *ironic smile* Go on. Don't make me wait anymore.

I don't think I'll last any longer. Look at me. See me. I don't want to pine after you anymore. Give me back my heart. Don't make me smile too hard. I'm not a doll that you can pick up and set aside at will. I have feelings. I have thoughts. (It's unfortunate it's about you.) So tell me what you want. Don't leave me hanging.

I'm too broken. Don't dance on the tiny shards. Instead pick them up even if your fingers bleed, even if they dig into your palms and bring rivulets of blood twisting and flowing down your wrists. I need you in this. If you can't do that then take me as I am.

Forget the existence of a heart. Settle for the next best thing. Don't break me any further.

I'm currently reading AND watching the shoujo anime series, Bokura ga ita. It is a pretty simple story about a complicated relationship between two high schoolers. The characters are endearingly sweet. The story is true to life. I can so totally related because I'm standing somewhere close. My heart beats just as fast. I am just as nervous. I think I'm falling in love but I'm probably infatuated. *dokidoki* It doesn't matter anyway. I have a boarding pass for the roller coaster and I'm going to ride it. Because the exhilarating feelings of excitement, frustration and even sadness is all a part of it.

Even before you told me your name, I felt like I've met you before.

~Takahashi Nanami

I just experienced a full day. After work, I went directly to school for my 8-9:30AM class where I proceeded to recite as much as I can in order to retain the information I absorbed. I've got a plethora of new classmates and I'm loving it! Anyway, I survived a whole day with only four hours of sleep? Sir will understand, maybe. Balancing work and school will suck a lot out of me but it will be okay.

What's my motivation anyway? I'm doing this for my future. Working will allow me to save up and gear up for a future that is assured. I want to have things and stuff and fulfillment. You know the drill. But I'm serious when I said that I'm looking for fulfillment. It's high time for me to work hard. I'm working to study, really.

My best friends totally understand. I love you, Quinie! Stay strong with me!

Just when I thought I'm fine alone, somebody comes along. I've got a burgeoning friendship with Xander who is definitely one of the nicest guys I've ever met. We're texting lately and I'm glad for it. He's an anime fan, a hardcore rock/alternative music fan and techie addict. It's kind of fun to start getting to know him. I haven't had the chance to talk to another human of the opposite gender for a long time. (Yes aside from my best guy friends.) He's sweet, funny and quirky. I find it really cute. (If you're reading this, I'm going to be embarrassed as hell. But at least I'm honest, right?) Xander is an interesting guy that I'd like to get to know more. *coughlovecough*

There's a typhoon coming towards the Philippines in less than an hour. Hmm, it's named FERIA. What else? I hope this means no classes tomorrow! (YAY!) I love it when it rains... It means I can sleep sooo much better.

By the way, a security guard from work informed me that LV is coming back to work sometime this week. I'm not affected anymore. Thank you Lord. I don't want to pine after him anymore.

I'm sleepy, dammit!

Saturday was payday! So to kick the weekend off into a roaring start, the whole Wave 18 went out to La Purita for some bonding. While waiting for Sir Malo, we watched the parade for the Foundation Day of Lipa. (I love my new friends! They're so game! While the people on the floats were throwing candies, they picked them up like kids on a birthday party! It was too much fun!!!) We started drinking and singing in the videoke at around 8:30AM. Yes, it was very early but this was what call center agents do. We don't have a normal life, you know.

Drinking and singing were good stress-relievers. I did not get drunk. Really. But some alcohol in my system let me lean and hug Pau- a very cute but bisexual classmate in the training- who was game for it. Sir Malo was really funny and loud. Jean, Kari and Reena went home to prepare for our outing later. After getting teased to Anjo- he's calm, quiet and artistic like me- we went to Lomi King. Lunch was calmer but it was all right. Sir Malo was so game for everything- he even ate Leila's leftovers. (Sir Malo likes it when we call him Daddy. He kept teasing Leila by calling her Boss because of her big dreams.) I went home afterwards for a nap.

Jean and I shopped for the outing at around 5:30PM. We were the ones who initiated the outing so we were responsible. Mike called us up while we were debating over the correct ingredients of spaghetti. He's actually very nice. Anyway, Jean's a cool and funny girl with ready one-liners. I like her a lot. She's totally sweet too and she helped me out by texting everyone to confirm the reservations and itinerary (Nosebleed!!!). Because we weren't well-versed with the culinary universe, we had to rely on an assistant for help. We managed to buy everything we need before we went to my house to cook. For the first time in my life, I was thrusted into the pleasures of cooking. I can proudly say that I know how to cook a decent spaghetti now. (Yes I did it! Everyone complimented my creation all night!) Mama helped us out too. She was certainly shocked that we were cooking at such short notice but she did her best. My mother's definitely my role model because she's grace under pressure. (Though she acted crabby she was actually very interested!)

Xander, Jean's friend, picked us up. Jean invited him along to make the party larger and merrier. He had a car! *nosebleeds* Because of limited manpower he had to help grate the cheese over the spaghetti while I got ready. Then we went to Robinson's to pick up the rest of the party before proceeding to El Grande, a two-star hotel/resort.

The people who went to the outing were Gara, Reena, Kari, Anton, Anjo, Xerxes, Stefan, Azhee, Jean, Xander and me. Add-ons included Mike, Gee, Alrin, Steff and Leo. We were a merry party who swam in the pool, took pictures and drank all night long. Alrin and his cousins brought more softdrinks for our chaser to get the party going again. I got slightly drunk and I had to rely on Xander for support. We were up all night just talking and playing truth or dare! It was the best fun I've had in a long, long while... I'm glad that the party were all open for anything and totally game!

Anyways, I was very glad to go with them although it ate a substantial portion of my weekend's rest. Monday will be the start of hell so I'm going to do everything to adjust. I don't want to lose anything precious to me.

By the way, I think my heart was stolen again. I hope he likes me back. He kissed me after all after admitting that I was the one he liked...

I was awake that long. What happened? Here's what:

Work started at 10PM and I got off at 6AM. I went with Leila to visit her house, see her kittens, play with baby Yuki and then drink coffee. We followed the rest of Wave 18 to Metro **** Hospital where it was hell for the next eight hours. The process for the medical check-up was sheer HELL. The nurses were bitchy, the doctors were tardy and the goddam aircon wasn't working. The building plan was also stupid because there weren't any washrooms on the second floor. Instead of going up there we had to travel to the THIRD FLOOR just to pee. How stupid was that?! I was so annoyed with the whole thing. I guess that was because I was up all night and the whole thing was ridiculous.

It made me bond with some of the members of Wave 18 though. We've gone through some pain and we're bonded by it. Crap or no crap, we're on!

At 1PM, I traveled to SM to meet Wave 73-my original beloved wave who goes "anong sabi ni Inay? Never say die..." and "tomorrow is another day"- to watch the latest opus of the director of Spiderman named Drag me to hell. (WTH, a long movie name! O.O) Although I was tired already I trudged up to NBS where I found Ray and Alex. We went to KFC for a bite to eat where the rest of the group met up with us. So the group consisted of Encie, Alex, Ray, Eden, Raze and me.

It was fun because we also went out where they smoked and gossiped and told jokes. I've forgotten how to laugh so hard it hurts your stomach. It felt good. I missed them so much. Talking after the movie was even better.

The movie was good too. It made me scream a LOT?! I also have this phobia involving old ladies now too. It was not scary SCARY but it was more like screamy. The movie was interesting but it was generic Hollywood formula. The monster- the LAMIA?- did not even have enough screen time. Sam Raimi was more interested in displaying how many angles will the actress look like Kirsten Dunst. (What did I tell you? Spiderman.) The beginning of the movie looked like the the third spidey movie- instead of black sticky alien mutant monsters from space we get black smoky spirit. See the difference. I guess it had its twists but the story is really American.

I got home around 7PM. Fell asleep on the multicab. Go figure.

It's another week, guys. What happened to all of you? :D

1. I dreamed about Giru the other day. It was nothing weird. Just small talk and cuddling and *sighs*... But it's nothing. Sometimes dreams don't really work that way.

2. Work is easy. I like my current account. It's better than the last one because it's far easier. My trainer is a good guy. He's an awesome force of nature. Although I got separated from VOL WAVE 73, I'm starting to like the others. But nobody beats ONE TEAM. XD

3. LelouchxCC with advanced prompts makes me wonder. It's hard! *laughs* But I'm going to get the hang of it... I just don't have the correct story in my head. Maybe I'll post some soon. My claim for LelouchxEuphie was approved and I finished them. Now I'm going to write LelouchxCC for the Violet Set. Lovely.

4. Code Geass still owns my soul. Hi FLIST.

5. I have a DVD of L CHANGE THE WORLD. I watched it to unwind. Kenichi Matsuyama still rocks my world. *hugs awesomeness*
 

I can't believe that the first week of June is almost gone. Summer pass me by without my noticing it. It brings a bittersweet smile to my lips. School is going to start in less than two weeks. I cannot believe that the hustle and bustle of a busy life is almost upon me. It makes me want to cherish each and every precious moment.

Summer of 2009 saw me celebrate my 20th birthday, climb a mountain, attend training for work and make lots of new friends. It is also the time of anime, DVD marathons, drabbles and Code Geass addictions. It is a fun and dreamy time where I can do whatever I want. I will definitely miss it.

Most of my days are spent over at my writing LJ because I'm addicted to 7rainbowprompts . I'm planning to work on Baby tonight too!

Guys, I miss you! What have you all been doing with your lives? :D

Persona 4 is really cool. *sparkles*

I've been playing since Monday and I haven't gotten very far yet. It's harder than it looks but it's cool. It's a game for PS2 released last year. The game has a murder case-solving mystery with multiple twists and turns. You can check out Wikipedia for more information.

The main character, Seta Souji (yes he had a name on the manga. Read here.), is quite cool. He's sent to the country town of Inaba to attend school while his parents work overseas. His uncle, Dojima, plays host to him for the whole year. Now he makes friends in Yukiko Amagi, Chie Satonaka and Yousuke Hanamura during his first few days in the town. They also make the expedition into the Midnight Channel that used to be an urban legend. Thus starts Seta-kun's journey.

P4 actually combines dating simulation and RPG. So Seta-kun has an option to form future romantic relationships with the girls. It actually depends on the player on whether or not Seta-kun should proceed.

For now, I'm 'shipping ChiexYousuke. My writing LJ angels_archives is going to host a 7rainbowprompts claim for the pair. (The Yellow Set was cool for them.) Once I get to know Yukiko-chan then maybe I'll pair her up with our silent protagonist. They look good together.

An angel_love_song birthday looks like this: videoke, lots of friends, beer/gin/red horse beer and lots of talk.

The party started around 05:30 PM when my college barkada dropped in. Aki-chan and her boyfriend (Benji who I don't know and cannot like... I don't think I can bond with the girl I used to consider as my best friend when she's always stuck to some guy's side. Isn't it awkward?!) was already at my house around four pm followed by Ken-chan. They're my best friends since high school. Then the self-proclaimed Baklaerz (Angel, Joy, Zel and Quinie plus Mani and Thel) arrived to eat dinner with my father's now famous spicy sisig. They came from the BSU main campus where they delivered the thesis drafts for the panelists. Gossip and news were exchanged; Ken, Aki and Benji watched FMA for a while. Then my friends from work (Encie, Alex and Giru) came! Yay! The drinking and eating started after Max, Glady and Deanne came. They were my sister's friends and thus stayed at her side. Eden, Mami El, Kuya Toti and Analyn came too. Ate Cla also stayed. It's too bad that Aki-chan went home early. I danced, sang and let myself loose! It's my day! I get special protection and immunity! XD But I know they all loved to dance. Mama and I even sang a duet! The two closest people who stayed for a sleepover was Ken and Quinie. A party is not a party without a couple of gatecrashers but we accepted them when they entertained us with a few songs. Lucas also played a really nice song with Patrick the Starfish with Yix's guitar. We stayed up quite late... How does four in the morning sound? We really had lots to talk about. Needless to say, some people went home intoxicated. Giru got a lot of fangirling. He's quite cute but he's a playboy. Think Yi-jung from Boys over Flowers. Nina even had a crush on him. Ah, to be young! Well, Encie and Giru went home early coz they had places to be. Eden, Mami El and fam and Alex went back hom around 11PM. After dropping them off to McDonald's, we went to 7-11 for a few snacks and Red Horse Beer. We got questioning looks that we laughed off. Hey, we look young but Ate Cla and I are 19 and 20 now! XD I love my parents, siblings and friends for being there for me. We all know who loves a good party! (Seriously, I didn't have anything grand planned- I just served sisig and rice. No birthday cakes, spaghetti or ice cream. It's a spur of the moment thing.)

My best birthday ever was my 18th but this gets second place. I'm 20 now. My mid-year goals will be to save money, learn to prioritize and gradute from college. I'll also add driving lessons, care for my health and write stories to my things to do list.

I saved some of the messages on my phone from my birthday last Friday.

 

( my version of twitter XD )

I am so relieved.

The thesis defense was held on campus yesterday. Our class went through a rigorous interview with three panelists- CQM, Medina and one-I-don't-know were ours- for a whole day. I think 75% of our class passed. I was really nervous and out of it for a while. My thanks to good friends who kept telling me to stand up and do it. (Encie, I love you for telling me that all I need is confidence... and I have it! Nurse Jean, thank you for telling me to argue nicely. XD) Also I was thankful to Tita Babes for having a large shawarma lunch with me. I don't think my garlic breath turned off our panelists... Maybe there's magic on the sauce or the breath? LOL. I don't know. I am just so happy and so relieved!

The interview itself was hard when you're nervous. But we relaxed. The paneslists were really kind though. I loved them when they suggested major revisions that sounded totally possible. Sayonara, Eva Fonda. Even my thesis adviser was glad and relieved. The talk afterwards was totally calm and relaxed. But she told us to cooperate and to make this our top priority... Yes, I will do that.

But I'm just so glad and relieved that we passed! That means I can still go through this semester to graduate on time. TT_TT God is so good! I will definitely do my best!

Joy, Angel, Zel and Quinie went with me to sing at the karaoke though we're all dead tired. We need to celebrate at least!

On other news, I'm playing Persona 4 nonstop. Never mind D.N Angel which I promised to watch. I've got two whole weeks off before the grueling school-work stress starts!

Today is the day I'll hit the big 2-0.

In other words, I'm 20-years-old. It means that I was born into this world on May 29 exactly 20 years ago. That's a pretty big thing for me. 20 is the age of maturity, of adulthood. I am not a child anymore so I cannot pretend that I don't know what I'm doing. I am not a teenager who cannot shake off the weight of responsibilities. I am 20 and that means I am supposed to be grown up.

Or maybe not.

In my heart of hearts, I know I will never grow up. I'm a little girl at heart. Although I am expected to be an adult, a grown-up or a mature human being, I know that I will never become that. I'm still going to believe in rainbows, butterflies and true love. I'm still holding on to the childlike openness and innocence that is my personality. I won't listen to older adults who expects me to give up anime, books and flightiness; I won't surrender to the call of he corporate slavery and supposed maturity by ignoring my whims and fancies. I will grow up, that is certain, but I will not let myself go.

I am young, beautiful and free. I have all the potential in the world. I have all the opportunities, chances and choices that I can use. This is the start of my life. (Sure it's great to be young and carefree. But there's also safety and mediocrity. My current age will allow me to do things that I couldn't do before and help me see things in a better angle.) Maybe when I get disillusioned or jaded, I can always read back to this entry and smile. I'll probably remember why I am so excited to be 20.

Have you ever felt like you've never belonged anywhere? Like you were in the middle of a crowd and before you knew it, everyone knew each other. You started off with a couple of friends before they suddenly went away to join everyone. Group messages came and went but you were never included. Private messages were passed around but you never had anyone to chat with. They seemed to be happy because they all got along. But they forgot about you.

They truly forgot about you. Though you tried to tell them how you feel, they continued on as though they didn't hear. It hurt you but they never saw.  Maybe it's starting to become too much. Maybe you're just attached. Who knew what really happened that estranged you? What could explain the sudden alienation from the people who said they liked you?

Sometimes being in a crowd is lonelier than being alone.

Oh, come on.

The government is charging us TAX for shipping books into the country? That's plain absurd! It's totally way beyond my comprehension as a citizen of the supposed 'freest country in Asia'. I don't want to believe that some of my countrymen would go as far as reinterpreting a treaty and tailoring it to fit their intentions! It's truly mind-boggling.

I know it's the recession and poverty, you guys, but you're no worse than criminals/drug lords/petty thieves who steals from their fellowmen.  By charging tax fees from us, you're preventing us from affording reading materials that we won't otherwise have access to. We can't even have decent collections of books in public and private libraries, dammit! This is nothing short of criminal. With your thinly veiled agenda, you're siphoning profits from the masses. Don't try to force your intentions on the public unless you want to earn eternal contempt. *breathes* 

Do. Not. Try. The. Book. Lovers. Unless. You. Want. To. Die.

Sign the petition, please! This is for all of us! We can't let them get away with an injustice like this!

I finished the week of Soft Skills Training (SST). We're about to have our impromptu speech exam later and it's going to spell life and death for us. I hope we'll all pass because I like all of the people in my training program. We're still adjusting to each other but we're on the same wavelength. I've also started to hang out with a few girlfriends. I think they're very nice. Lei, Encie and Raze are nice girls.

We've got plenty of pretty girls too. There's Jean who is actually a fresh graduate of Nursing. She's petite, fair-skinned and pretty with chinky eyes and a nice laugh. I love talking to her. We also have a beautiful woman with a great body in A. (Plus her accent is really cool!) I really like them.

Product Specifics Training (PST) starts next week for me. I am hopeful because I really want the job. It's easier for me now because I know the job's nature already. I think I'll do okay. I also saw some of my former teammates in the office. They're still as nice and gentle as they were to me before. I missed them! I think I'll never stop caring about them. I also saw the trainees that I took care of before I resigned. They're agents now! But there are also people I recognize who don't recognize me anymore. I think that's cool with me.

I'm supposed to be asleep but I'm not. Guess it's weird, huh? I'll rest a bit more later. I think I'll be fine. Tea will prop me up.

By the way, I had a delicious dream of a guy who resembles Yoon Ji Hoo. Holding his hand seems tame but it's definitely a start.

Now:
oWatching La Corda d'Oro and nurturing future fanfic ideas
oTalked to lazyguy24 over the phone over food, love, ambition and good advice! ("Love will just shoot you in the ass.")
oWork shift starts at 9PM. Oh God, please help me.
oWill see LV again. Don't know how to feel about that yet.

oWatched Boys Over Flowers. I am so madly in love with Ji Hoo!!! *glomps Ji Hoo plushies*

BTW, has everybody read xxxHolic's new chapter??? I cried. T_T